Haziz: [David is speaking to Andy] Hey, Will and Grace. Cal: We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? He's got a billion toys. [Pans to video of girls in bathing suits] Waves of them coming at you on Friday, Saturday.  Paul Rudd was criticized for being overweight and the studio was unhappy with how Apatow was "lighting [the film] like an indie". " Rotten Tomatoes declared it the "Best Reviewed Comedy of 2005. David: I'm gonna kick you in the nuts, asshole. Waxing Lady: Oh! Smart Tech Customer: It don't f***ing matter! F*** you, okay? Andy Stitzer: You know what? Andy Stitzer: [yells] Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson! Have you ever heard of the term... 'F*** Buddy?'. " The pair gave minor criticisms, with Ebert describing "the way she (Catherine Keener as 'Trish') empathizes with Andy" as "almost too sweet to be funny" and Richard Roeper saying that the film was too long, and at times extremely frustrating. Andy Stitzer: No, you know what? I don't want to date you anymore! What has felt right for you doesn't work! David: Know why you're gay? Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women. [the waxing lady is putting the first coat of wax on Andy's chest]. You gotta think, patna! Hold up. Watch the Trailer. Mooj: You will receive none of the commission. A Fun Waste Of … Mooj: This is bullshit! Details Duration: 1.600 secDimensions: 498x229Created: 10/4/2015, 2:30:43 AM. Andy Stitzer: [after having wax ripped the hair from his nipple] Oh, nipplef***! Paula: All right! Jay: He sold his old toys for over half a million dollars! And then, her kid walked in the room... Jay: Woah. Funny scene from 40 Year Old Virgin. Andy Stitzer: [after his co-workers figure out that he's a virgin, he tries to deny it] You guys... are up... your... asses. He's taken care of. Andy Stitzer: What the f*** are you talking about? 40-year-old Andy Stitzer is an employee of electronics store Smart Tech and lives alone in his apartment with his collection of action figures and video games. Trish: Are you at the top of a tall building? Andy Stitzer: You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.  The film stars Steve Carell (who co-wrote the film's screenplay with Apatow) as the titular 40-year-old virgin Andy, a clerk at an electronic goods store, whose colleagues resolve to help him lose his virginity. Andy Stitzer: Hey, hey! Stormy Daniels has a cameo as herself. Cal: That's a good looking grandma!  Production on the film was halted by Universal Pictures after the first week, due to concerns that the physical appearance of Carell's character resembled that of a serial killer, and that the early footage was not funny. Jump off! Cal: Sounds really fun. Haziz: Hey, hey, hey! 1 the following weekend. Share; Tweet; Comment; Where did Andy, Cal, Jay, David, Mooj, and Haziz work? Andy eventually lands a date with Trish Piedmont, a woman he meets on the sales floor. "Ooh, do me, Yo-Yo Master, I want you to do me cause you're the yo-yo guy!". Know what I sayin'? You are f***ing with the wrong n*gger. The couple then consummates the marriage. I don't mess with him, baby. I spent the last two years of my life regretting it. Cal: I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School. Trust me on this one, aight? Smart Tech Customer: [points at Jay] Is this your boy? Andy Stitzer: You know what my problem is? Please! Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk... because I'm puttin' my bike in it. Mooj: Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. One night, his colleagues David, Jay and Cal invite him for a poker game, and in the end of the night, they find that Andy is a 40 years old virgin and they decide to help him to score. Smart Tech Customer: Well, you somebody's nigga, wearin this nigga tie. CINEMATOGRAPHER: Jack Green. Andy admits his own virginity to defend her, earning him Marla's respect. Cal: It was really giving it to her. In addition, Jonah Hill, Kevin Hart and Wayne Federman appear as eBay and Smart Tech customers, respectively. Health Clinic Counselor: There's masturbation. Andy Stitzer: I'm not getting bitter. Andy returns to his apartment to find Trish waiting for him. Andy Stitzer: Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do. Watch the language, okay? Andy Stitzer: [stammering] I was wondering whether you had a few minutes to talk about a little laundry detergent. I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!  David: You know how I know you're gay? What? Andy Stitzer: Ahh... wow. Mooj: If I can keep this commission... with pleasure. 40-year-old Andy Stitzer is an employee of electronics store Smart Tech and lives alone in his apartment with his collection of action figures and video games. You never told me that before. Beth: I'd like to introduce you to my friend. I'd tap that. Andy Stitzer: [following David to the front door] Take your box o' porn! The film grossed a total of $109,449,237 at the domestic market, and $67,929,408 internationally, for a total of $177,378,645. Waxing Lady: [calls out] Oh... we gonna need more wax! Jay: I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg. I flicked you in the fleshy patch where your balls used to be. Related quizzes can be found here: f. 40 Year Old Virgin, The Quizzes … Andy Stitzer: You should keep your ho on a leash. Andy Stitzer: That girl was a ho... for sho. Go f*** a goat! Where Kevin Hart and Jay (Romany Malco) get into an argument/fight and Andy (Steve Carell) tries to step in. We gotta get some f***ing toys! You're f***ing with the wrong sand nigga! Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards, St. Louis Film Critics Association Awards, The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It, "The 40-Year Old Virgin Production Notes", "Judd Apatow and Steve Carell, 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin, "Judd Apatow - Motion Pictures - Knocked Up - 40-Year-Old Virgin", "The 40-Year-Old Virgin Ending: Judd Apatow Tells Us Why He Went Out On A Musical Note", "MovieWeb Gets Personal With 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' Director Judd Apatow", "Judd Apatow, Seth Rogan and Romany Malco Talk 'The 40 Year Old Virgin, "The 40-Year-Old Virgin(2005)Filming & Production", "Jason Segel of 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' Is a Young Actor With Nothing to Hide", "40 Year Old Virgin - Steve Carell Interview on 40 Year Old Virgin Movie", "MovieWeb Gets Waxed by 'The 40 Year Old Virgin's' Miki Mia [Exclusive]", "Steve Carell has become 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'! Beth: [they both laugh] What's your name? Jay: I will hang your old ass by your turban! Mooj: It certainly is not. Trish: What is this, your roofie, your date drug? Hmm? And, you know, instead of, like, saying, "Okay, what am I doing that caused this behavior?" Got a [squeaky voice] 'Weird' thing to show ya". Web. 40 Year Old Virgin. When a conversation at a poker game with his co-workers David, Cal, and Jay turns to past sexual exploits, they learn that Andy is still a virgin and resolve to help him lose his virginity. Motorist: Get the f*** out the road, virgin! Beth: We could do it in the... butt, if you want. Why weren't we invited to the party? Mooj: Everybody dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV. Where you at? Aren't you curious as to how that's possible? Mooj: Hey, hey! I *know* that. It's suffering and it's pain and it's... You know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight, and then you, you know, you call them a bunch of times and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email, but that's just love. Go shoot yourself in the f***ing head! You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more. So, I'm sorry. First of all, you throwin' too many big words at me, and because I don't understand them, I'm gonna take 'em as disrespect. Party's over... [to Andy] Let the virgin get back to work! Andy Stitzer: And I didn't have any bread. Jay: Listen to me, listen to me. Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez. Paula: [propositioning Andy to be her 'friend with benefits'] I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams. Published on April 20, 2016. Cool!". Andy Stitzer: Masturbation. How was the date with Trish? Andy Stitzer: It's not about butthole pleasures at all. By. Get a real f***ing job, why don't you? I'm really excited about it. So, shit, man... f*** it! STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Help me out. Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy reading a comic book] [laughs] Oh my god... Health Clinic Counselor: Now, there are ways of having sex without intercourse. That's my customer. Jay: Okay, see... see, now you found yourself a nigga. Andy Stitzer: [Andy just hit a billboard truck on his bike and crashed through it] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally. You was lookin' for a nigga? David: Did you just flick me in the balls? The screenplay features a great deal of improvised dialogue. We're gonna be... [moaning] This for you, partner, this for you. Jill: So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"? Andy Stitzer: It's gonna be fine. So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. David: Of course it's horrible. Andy Stitzer: [drunk] You know the thing about relationships is that they make one person go, "Blah blah blah blah blah," and the other person go, "What are you talking about?" That's much more valuable than Steve Austin. I almost lost a nipple, okay? Andy Stitzer: You know what? Jay: No, no, he don't need no help! I'm gonna get you some pussy. It's okay not to have sex. Stupid decision. I was born in Brooklyn. She has found David's porn collection; Andy tries to explain, but she flees in alarm and disgust, fearing Andy may be a sexual deviant. Haziz: [to Jay] So, tell me, Montel. i do not own this i am simply paying tribute to a few of my favorite clips from the movie 40 year old virgin Andy Stitzer: I need some poon! Yeah... right. Jay: Yeah, nigga, we will both mash you! " On Metacritic, the film has a score of 73 out of 100 based on 35 critics, indicating "generally favorable reviews". I always have been. [pause] And cancel all my afternoon appointments! Beth: We have a lot of books, so maybe it depends on what you like. f. 40 Year Old Virgin, The Trivia Questions & Answers : Movies D-G This category is for questions and answers and fun facts related to f. 40 Year Old Virgin, The, as asked by users of FunTrivia.com. David: Hey, Haziz, could you give us a minute? Hey, why don't you just, you know, get a knife and run into it? David: [to a shirtless Andy, who has an incredibly hairy chest] I love your sweater. Nancy Carell, Steve's wife, plays the health clinic counselor. Andy Stitzer: You guys, she's picking me up in an hour. WRITERS: Judd Apatow & Steve Carell. I love women! Andy Stitzer: [Covering] Oh! David: [David talking about his ex girlfriend] Yeah... she's adorable... f***in' bitch. Andy Stitzer: Is it true that if you don't *use* it, you *lose* it? They don't even remember. What did you get up to? How you doing? I wanna have lots of sexy sex with you. Lemme rephrase that. Andy Stitzer: I won't... unless you want to be told on, Beth. Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy! David: There's some really great stuff in here. When a conversation at a poker game with his co-workers David, Cal, and Jay turns to past sexual exploits, they learn that Andy is still a virgin and resolve to help him lose his virginity. Here, tell me. Smart Tech Customer: This shit just got real! Oh, Jesse, he needs a call... Jay: I'm sick of you poaching my customers. Andy Stitzer: She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls. Jay: No, no, that's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested. Cal: [of his first thoughts on Andy] I kinda thought you were a serial killer. Let's see, there are things like body rubbing or dry humping. David: Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern. " Emanuel Levy gave the film a B+ grade calling it "Raunchier and funnier than Wedding Crashers, this is an R-rated comedy that despite crude surface and foul lingo has a generous heart and a sweet, almost naive center. Mooj: [to Jay] Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole? Copy embed to clipboard. Andy Stitzer: Jay thinks you're a pot head. Jay: You're putting the pussy on a pedestal. Mooj: Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Jay: Listen to me, listen to me! " Lou Lumenick of the New York Post gave the film 2 out of 4 stars, and called it "A calculating crowd-pleaser aimed squarely at the under-25 crowd, who can feel free to add a star or two to my rating. Locations. [walks away]. Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood. https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_40_year_old_virgin_quotes_143798, I Got Ants in My Pants (And I Want to Dance). I didn't know all that. He gets drunk and leaves with Beth to have sex at her apartment. Look at me: looks are not important. Jay: Hey why you always telling me to go f*** a goat man? Why don't you do that, huh? When I came upon her, she was unattended. Andy Stitzer: You know what? Cool cool. Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade, I think. Paula: Andy, when I was young, I developed early. It doesn't matter. The two argue, and Andy leaves to meet his friends at a nightclub. Cal: "Gandhi" baked is good. Jay was found abandoned in Battle Creek, Michigan. Cal: Listen, when I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke. "The 40 Year Old Virgin Quotes." Jay: From now on, your dick is my dick. Who the f*** you, man? Smart Tech Customer: I'll tell you what. She had a weighted chain tied to her neck that was causing abrasions and sores. Jay: Yeah, well, aim high, Willis. Cal: Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as f***, or you're ugly as shit. The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Andy Stitzer: [looking at an anatomy model of a vagina] Where do you put the penis? Romany Malco went on to costar in movies including "Blades of Glory" and in the TV series "Weeds." Trish: He had a wife, who he f***ed, by the way! But now, he see that Jay make the rules at Smart Tech, that I run this bitch, and now he 'bout to bounce! Cal: [David's character explodes] F*** you! David: I want to take you to Paris and make love to you under the Eiffel Tower. "Spoon", nigga. *Really* look at me. Get back on the floor. David: Tell you what. I'm a virgin too. Roger Ebert said, "I was surprised by how funny, how sweet, and how wise the movie really is" and "the more you think about it, the better The 40-Year-Old Virgin gets. Well, I knew it. You know what, you don't have an answer for that, do you? David: [the same Michael McDonald sampler DVD has been playing on all of the television screens for the last two years] If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground. Amy: This whole Paris thing! Andy Stitzer: What? Cal: [Andy turns away and Cal mimics blowing his own brains out with a finger pistol]. Both ya'll niggas gonna get clapped up when I get back. You wanna just take it outside and just squash it? I *hate* you! 0:14. David: I gotta tell you something. Andy Stitzer: Well, she's no Jack Palance. I wanna touch your big fat [becomes Andy's voice] noodle. Andy Stitzer: Ow! Jay: Listen, you don't want no baby daddy drama. the 40 year old virgin 172 GIFs. I mean, that shit is everywhere. [Andy takes off his shirt, revealing a very hairy torso]. Andy Stitzer: [motioning to David's box of porn] I don't want this stuff, okay? Umm... your hat has sequins. Tell me. You want a slurpee?" [pause] Tell me, what's Curious George like in real life? F*** that nigga up! - YouTube Cal: Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch. Jay: Nastiest shit you've ever done? Let me ask you that. ", Brian Lowry of Variety wrote: "Crude, sophomorically homophobic but frequently funny, pic also overstays its welcome a bit and indulges in some juvenile excesses. Cal: [talking about Trish being a grandma] You should f*** her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday. Because you're giving him hope, and it's driving the man crazy!  Catherine Keener was the first choice for the female lead. The transaction is completed. Look. Jay: Dude, it's not a big deal that you like to f*** guys. Andy Stitzer: [sounding exasperated] A vagina. However, one day his friends and co-workers David, Jay, and Cal discover Andy has a secret – due to his rather severe jitters around women, Andy is still a virgin. Okay? Como se llama! Beth: Andy... Don't tell on me, okay Andy? Smart Tech Customer: Now, don't be a negro, be my nigga. It's about connections. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Back to work! Cal: Because you're gay so you can tell who the gay people are. [Shows him a vibrating shower head]. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? Nicky: You have really kind eyes, you know that? Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. Web. Nicky: I'm starvin... let's get some f***in french toast! A&E Television Networks, 2015. Across the street at 17412 … They're the freshmaker. I mean, that sounds gay. By the time I was 13, I had this body you see before you. You know, I may not have had sex, but I could f*** you up. Really great movies in here, man. 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Oh... we gon na need extended! Waste of … directed by Judd Apatow at her apartment up '' rating buys stereo sleeping with any! The top of a vagina frosty. na do lots of sexy hot things with you if want! Definite Indian accent ] Oh, how much have you ever see School of... you still covering shift.